Hello Earthlings…..I know I am on the roll with these posts but, I am kinda recycling old posts from my old blog.
So it has been a while since I have had to get over an ex, but at this stage, I can kinda call myself an expert of getting over exes, the following things you should consider when you are getting over a guy, I got this from a cosmopolitan magazine.
Here are the four rules that should follow:
1. Follow the 30-minute rule.
Sure, at the moment you may think that the reason you’re asking if he’s free on Friday night is that you genuinely miss him or her and want to catch up, but chances are you’re either just
a) lonely or
And are turning to him/her since he/she used to always occupy you on date night. “If you stop and dissect this ‘pull’, you can differentiate true desire from temporary, emotionally charged desire,” Gladding says.
So use the 30-minute rule: When the urge to call/text/drop by hits, do something to shift your focus, like going for a run or catching up on your favorite blog. It sounds too simple (and kinda unbelievable), but chances are after a half-hour of focusing on something else, you’ll be less inclined to call him. “You’ll see that the urge was only fleeting,” says Gladding, “and that you can stay on track if you give yourself the right things to distract yourself with.”
2. Identify your triggers (ahem, Facebook).
“Most women have very specific triggers—something that will set them off and make them start thinking about him,” Gladding explains. Take a few minutes to think back and identify the behaviors that cause you to feel like crap over the breakup and get all wallow—stalking his Facebook wall, listening to a band you both love, going to that restaurant—and then take action. Maybe it means blocking his posts on FB for a while or temporarily stashing other things that remind you of him in your closet. “When you’ve just broken up, you’re still pretty vulnerable to that emotional tug,” Gladding says. “Getting rid of all those reminders can help get you over the initial hump.”
3. Dial up your chattiest friend.
One of the best distractions you can find? Good old-fashioned girl talk. The problem is that talking with a girlfriend often turns into you venting about the guy or rehashing the relationship. “Sure, it’s nice to feel like someone’s in your corner, but it’s just another way to fixate on him. And rarely in those conversations do you actually walk away feeling better about your newly single status,” Gladding says. “You just end up asking yourself how he’s doing, wondering if he has a new girlfriend and so on.” So call up or meet with that friend who could talk to a wall if she had to. You want someone who’s going to steer the conversation and keep it focused on topics like her bitchy coworker, the trip she wants to take, or why she’s most definitely on Team Ramona. It doesn’t matter what, just that you know who’s name does not get mentioned…more than once or twice.
4. Make a list.
Brainstorm the top three reasons you’re better off without him than you are with him, whether it’s that he didn’t get along with your mom, he never would have been able to support you, or he didn’t have the same taste in movies. It’s tempting to view your relationship through rose-colored glasses, but it’s important to think realistically about why you’re better of without him. “Once you have a chance to see the bigger picture, you’ll be able to squash those impulses to cling to the guy that’s not right for you just because it’s comfortable…and prevent them from coming back,” Gladding says.
Signing Out Ramblings Of A Kenyan Girl
Song for the blog: L.A.N.C.E: June’s Diary
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